10 Thoughts from the kitchen life

15

Oct

1. God damm the HEAT

In the beginning…the thought of it was unbearable. How could ANYONE, any human being be blasted by such immense heat in their faces 12 hours a day and still smile at the end of it??! It didn’t make sense. Day 1 at the Grill station was a kick up the nuts..for the pores in my skin at least. Imagine the heat you face occasionally during those BBQ sessions, yah do that. ALL DAY EVERYDAY. Day 2 came, and miraculously, the body started acclimatizing to it. Day 3,4 and more..You were now a heat ADDICT. You craved for that monster blast that makes your face cringe and crumple and the hairs of your hand flare. But then from now onwards, you love it. It’s a strange world out there.

2. Don’t take things too SERIOUSLY

Talking shi* is the kitchen’s language. You punk around, put salt in the other guy’s water. Take a burning hot blowtorch and touch his arm and watch him howl. You try to roast a chicken and end up smoking up the whole kitchen to smitherins, watching everyone choke to death while you can only grin cheesily. You look at your best kitchen buddy, smile and say, F U! He smiles back and obliges. Then you give each other a hug. That is life, kitchen life ;p In all it’s complete randomness, eccentricity, and gloriousness. Shit is thrown at you all day, it’s how we turn that into something light hearted.

3. The HANDSHAKE

Some waiters I work with come into the kitchen, and greets every single mother-f-ing kitchen dog. Good morning Chef Chris! Followed by a firm handshake. You feel like a LORD, and start doing your happy tap dance and that smile on your face is plastered on even though it’s a monday morning. And even though you are a lowly trainee, someone shows you respect. If anything, this is one PR lesson that is probably the most realistic.

4. the small SURPRISES

We are slogging our asses off like we’re trying to dig the Vietcong tunnels to save our lives. We truly are tired, hot and tired. When someone offers a treat – like that homemade honeydew sago, or an expired tub of chocolate mousse, or maybe…a pretty chick sits at table S2 and we all take turns walking out pretending to go to the dry store to get something whilst sneaking a glance. We turn to kids once again. But these little perks are little boosters for morale and motivation.

5. sickas PRODUCE

Don’t be surprised if that olive oil belong’s to Chef’s friend’s olive grove. Or that Ribeye comes from the cow that grazes on Chef’s other friend. You get to see quite interesting and special produce not normally sold in supermarkets or grocers. The reason is that restaurants get direct imports from specific farms etc overseas. It is a real eyeopener.

6. lets be SWEARING

Let me have you know that F U means Hi, thanks, cool, awesome, haha, you suck, really, and pretty much any other expression that you know. It’s just a language that we have become desensitized to. Its just a word, that doesn’t even mean anything anymore. Everyone swears all day in all different languages, cos it brings joy, laughter. In our kitchen, swearing goes on in 4 languages – English, Cantonese, French, and Italian. It makes quite a funny sight. Show some love, swear! I swear never before in my years have I used coarse language, especially not in church. It’s like all hell broke loose right on my lips i’m telling you.

7. no DISCIPLINE, no chance

Let’s put it this way, I’m the kind of dude who plays this game. It’s called let’s see how long you can last before your room gets too messy-and stuff starts rotting-before you do anything about it. It’s sort-of a game of endurance, or messiness, grossness. Yesterday mum praised me for the first time in 27 years for being neat and packing the house. The kitchen trained me up with no-nonsense cleaning habits, organising skills, and punctuality. You could be a sloth in the kitchen..people just wouldn’t end up liking you and helping you out. It will not be pretty eventually. I strongly believe Chefs hold such high values they are almost saints.

8. PRECISION

Every cube has to be the same size for any vegetable, fruit or produce. If it isn’t they’ll wait for you to finish cutting them all, and look at it and say, re-do. It has happened to me before. Today, I’m told to cut the asparagus to 15 cm. And then Chef hands me a metal rule. Nuff said.

9. CONTAINERS matter

Yeah whatever right, we just chuck stuff in the fridge. We’ve got peanut butter bottles, thousand Island dressing, and the bottle of anchovies is just somewhere in there…oh eew, what’s this piece of expired chili in a soggy flimsy plastic doing in there. Having standard container sizes especially in the chiller means alot. You can stack stuff, label stuff, organise everything efficiently. The best thing anyone could do – is buy a whole bunch of takeaway containers of the same size. You will be amazed how neat everything will be, and this will lead to less food being thrown away eventually.

10. No MALAYSIANS no food.

I’m estimating that 80% of the workforce in the kitchens are run by Malaysians. Simply because noone in Singapore wants to work in the kitchen. Hot, hardwork, and low pay. Who wants? It is important to understand the needs, desires, and the sacrifices our neighbours go through. These guys fight the hard fight for us Sgreans everyday, so you get to talk about your chi-chi meal at the last restaurant to your fellow hipster friends who are happily splurging off their parent’s hard-earned money. The Malaysians are good, hardworking and kind people. Let us take a moment to appreciate them, and the great food they do. 🙂

After spending 12 months in the kitchen, I’ve got an inkling of the kitchen life. Much respect to Chefs out there..it is THE ultimate sacrifice of life. One has to give up EVERYTHING to pursue this pursuit of perfection with little or no recognition. Can you imagine not having your weekend taken away, not spending the last 25 Christmases with your family cos you had to cook for the hotels? Those are the kinds of sacrifices they make. A big big thank you for all the Chef’s who were patient with me from all the restaurants I apprenticed in from Tung Lok, Forlino, and La Cantine.

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